


Don't Say That You Love Me

by Sethlock



Series: Sethlock's JoJo Crossovers [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, ジョジョの奇妙な冒険 | JoJo no Kimyou na Bouken | JoJo's Bizarre Adventure
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Canon-Typical Violence, Chumimiin is life, Chumimiin is love, Fix-It, Gen, Johnny Joestar Hates Napkins, One Shot, the fix-it is that tusk shows up to beat the napkins out of thanos
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-14 20:41:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29424714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sethlock/pseuds/Sethlock
Summary: In which there aren't nearly enough 'who else came out of those portals at the end of endgame?' memes, so I pulled a Thanos and 'did it myself'.In which Tony Stark doesn't get his 'one chance', so Stephen Strange opens an inter-dimensional for their paraplegic horse-riding savior to charge out of.And in which Tusk is simultaneously the cutest and most terrifying entity in the multiverse.(Honestly, I just wanted to write chumimiin. This was my best excuse. I love the chumimiin.)Bonus Controversial Opinion That I'll Make You Read Even If You Don't Read The <1500 Word Fic I Wrote: People shouldn't watch JoJo's without at least a basic understanding of both anime conventions and 70's/80's/90's music.
Relationships: No Romantic Relationship(s)
Series: Sethlock's JoJo Crossovers [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2161575
Comments: 4
Kudos: 8





	Don't Say That You Love Me

Thanos pulls the Power Stone from his gauntlet, and throws a punch that sends Captain Marvel flying, slamming into Stark and taking him with her as she careens into the wreckage that makes up… pretty much the entire battlefield at this point.

Steven doesn’t understand. He’d _seen_ this. Everything had gone just as he’d known it would. Until… until now.

Stark wasn’t supposed to get hit. Stark needed to stay up, needed to take the Stones. Had he miscalculated? Made some wrong move, somewhere? Made an out-of-place comment? Could… could it be the Stones’ fault?

Well. It didn’t matter now.

Thanos replaces the Stone, and Steven can’t help holding up his free hand, index finger raised, like he would have had Stark not been blown away with Captain Marvel. He’d done everything _perfectly_ …

The multiverse doesn’t play fair. That was what Dr. Strange had always known, and what Dr. Strange knew would always be true.

But.

He didn’t have to play fair either.

If Thanos was going to win; Was going to wipe out everything, start all over.

Wouldn’t a roll of the dice be better?

Just to see what would happen?

Thanos raises the gauntlet, and instead of Stark, it’s Steven who steps in.

His sling-ring _had_ always been his personal saving grace.

Instead of scraping through physical space like one normally would with a sling-ring, he throws a hail mary: He opens up an inter-dimensional gap behind Thanos.

An inter-dimensional gap is a skill only possessed by master sorcerers, but is also never used by any sorcerer, master or otherwise. Namely, because there is literally no controlling where that portal leads: It could be a field of daisies, or it could be Azathoth’s bathroom. Even when facing death, opening a rift between dimensions was always seen as a mark of true madness.

And here Steven was, at what could very possibly be the end of the world, pulling the most stupid move he’d ever made.

Not like he had anything to lose, he supposed.

Judging by the way the Titan’s eyes widen, his move has been seen as an actual threat to Thanos’ victory, so he has that, at least. Now all that’s left is to see what comes out of that portal.

But Thanos defies Steven’s expectations in a way that the madman hasn’t since Steven looked through the streams of fate, and spins, grabbing at the portal with his gloved hand.

Slowly, ever-so-slowly, Thanos _squeezes_ , pulling the portal closed, inch by inter-dimensional inch.

To Steven’s knowledge, nothing like this has ever been done. Could be done. It shouldn’t be possible to close a crack in reality like Thanos is doing now–

But then, with all the Stones on his gauntlet, Thanos has complete control over the metaphorical fabric of this universe. So. Maybe it’s… not reasonable, but not impossible to understand why.

If only there was something stronger on the other side of that rift. An elder god, an arch-demon, an exploding temporal reactor, _anything_ that could stop Thanos from snapping his fingers. Could stop him from closing the portal.

A foot. Nine inches. Seven.

Something in the air changes, and the battlefield grows silent, the universe bearing witness to the climax of this reality.

The work becomes harder as Thanos gets closer to closing the portal, and Steven thinks, distantly, that his heart might stop before the rift is closed if the rate of stress increases exponentially with the exponentially less-efficient closing of the portal.

Five inches. Four. Thanos repositions his hand, and he’s back to six inches. Five inches.

Something moves in the space between worlds, and Steven’s heart goes ‘Plus Ultra’, as he’d heard the kids saying, before… before all this. Thanos, and the Stones, and–

“Chu~?”

It’s high-pitched, and just about the least threatening sound Steven Strange had ever heard. And that’s including the noises Steven overheard being made by a paralyzed biker attempting to threaten his surgeon. While overdosed on painkillers.

For god’s sake, it sounds more _cute_ than dangerous. What kind of inter-dimensional horror says ‘Chu~’?

Thanos bares his teeth in what might be a smirk if there wasn’t sweat pouring down his neck, and pulls harder.

The edge of the crater is slowly filled by the wounded, who have begun to drag themselves over in order to watch as the world ends.

Four inches. Three and a half. Three.

The wind, which had been blowing steadily over the battlefield, dies. The murmur of the dying, much like the dying themselves, dies. Everything is silent.

“Chumimii~?”

A pair of hands force their way around the gaps in the portal and hold it at a standstill.

The crowd of spectators gasp, and it sounds like the air being driven out of a dying man. Some of them probably _have_ just died.

Steven’s face curls, a hysteric laugh bubbling out of his throat.

Thanos snarls, and brings his other hand around in a desperate attempt to close the rift. “You,” he hisses, “Will. Not!”

“Chu-” the hands tighten “CHU-” Thanos gasps, the look in his eyes growing wild–

“CHUMIMII~N!”

The hands force the portal open, there’s a flash of light, and Thanos is blown back, flipping head over heels as Johnny B. Joestar comes charging out of the rift astride his horse, the legendary-in-an-alternate-universe Slow Dancer.

“[Tusk: Act 4]!”

The crowd roars out their approval as Thanos begins to stand, facing down the young jockey thundering towards him.

Johnny lifts a glowing hand, and for a moment, he looks _perfect_ , in a way Steven can’t describe with words. A bolt of energy shoots from his finger, and Thanos holds up a hand to protect itself.

The gauntlet glows, and reality _shifts_ , and Steven knows just from looking that this is no ordinary barrier. He’d try to dispel it (though he doesn’t think any sorcerer in this universe has ever had that kind of power), try to shout a warning (his throat is too dry), but in the end he can only watch like the rest of the army.

The bolt of energy hits the barrier and disappears.

The crowd lets out an involuntary wince, and at least one of the assembled heroes attempts to stand, only to fall back to the ground.

“It’s useless,” Thanos murmurs. “The power of the Stones is too great.”

He turns to address the crowd. “You’ve put all your faith in this–”

“Ya know,” Johnny drawls from where he’s cantering Slow Dancer back and forth along the edge of the barrier, “You sound a lot like a guy I used to know. Would you say that yer goal is, say, for the benefit of humanity?”

Thanos hesitates, a collage of emotions painting his face, before nodding slowly. “You humans don’t–”

“Yeah,” the jockey says, “That’s what I thought.”

Those hands appear out of thin air, out of a gap in reality, and begin silently pulling it apart from behind Thanos’ head.

The young man continues, keeping the Titan’s attention on him while his ability rips apart reality behind him. “Now that I think about it, what are your opinions on napkins?”

“Napkins?” Thanos questions, a bizarre expression on his face. “Do you… are you _mocking_ me?”

A deep breath in, a deep breath out.

“Chumimiin, you purple son of a bitch,” Johnny enunciates.

Thanos whirls, and [Tusk] spins, and the gauntlet twists off of Thanos’ arm along with his hand, and suddenly the crowd is cheering, and Thanos is screaming in rage or maybe pain, and [Tusk] is screaming out ‘Ora!’s as it pummels the mad titan halfway to heaven.

“You claim your actions are those of ‘justice’, but they’re just as hollow as your claims to strength!” Johnny shouts over the clamor, galloping in a circle around Thanos as he puts their enemy through a beatdown the likes of which the madman has never experienced in his life. “Even though you had a grip on fate itself, my ‘determination’ still managed to overcome you!”

[Tusk] gives one last ‘Ora!’, and then spins _through_ Thanos, and suddenly slams the titan out of existence.

He’s gone.

Steven can barely feel him any more, and even that tenuous thread of his meta-senses is growing exponentially thinner as the seconds pass, travelling… inwards? And downwards. Definitely downwards. Hopefully, he’ll keep going all the way to Hell, and even past it. Lord knows that, if anything could do it, it’s the utter monstrosity that is [Tusk].

The army is celebrating now, and Joestar is taking victory laps around the bottom of the crater, waving to the cheering onlookers with a small smile gracing his lips. [Tusk] drapes itself over it’s user, hiding it’s face in apparent embarrassment.

And Steven thinks that, just maybe, it might all be okay from now on.

**Author's Note:**

> Did you know you can recommend fics to other people now? It's true! Just send them the link to this fic, tell them to read it, and I'll get a shot of that sweet, sweet serotonin that life as it is robs me of daily.
> 
> All 'jokes' aside, give me kudos and comments and I just might keep writing fanfictions. Maybe this crossover if you guys _really_ want it. Probably something else. Probably something to do with JoJo's.


End file.
